The Devil Wore A Collar - Part V

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links and if you purchase something from the links provided I will be compensated.

If you are just starting this story here are the links to start from the beginning: The Devil Wore A Collar – Part I The Devil Wore a Collar Part II The Devil Wore a Collar Part III The Devil Wore a Collar Part IV In reading this please keep in mind that so much more occurred than what you are reading. This story would have been a novel if I included everything that happened to us.
 Originally I was going to paraphrase what the court documents that I had been served said, but I have had a lot of people questioning, "Could a pastor mother really do this?" The answer is yes, so I have instead decided to input the actual paper work I was served that morning. I have blacked out names to protect the parties involved. What I realized as I was reading this is my MIL had used my step-son's mother like a puppet to try and destroy us in ways that are unimaginable. Upon reading this the first thing that upset me was the judge who granted this is a good friend of my MIL's and they actually were an item at one point. The second, is almost everything that was stated in here about me and my husband are out and out bold face lies. I have never once been institutionalized for any sort of mental disorder. I did have a bought of depression when I was pregnant with my second child and received care and Zoloft for that and have since been off of that for years. I am also ADHD which I was prescribed Ritalin for, but I have learned to cope without medication and have not been on that for about 4 years now. I have nothing to hide, so I will tell you I currently take Prozac for premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Google it. Also, I would NEVER and have NEVER sworn AT my children or abused them in ANY way! Do I yell on occasion if they are out of control, yes. What mother doesn't? I never scream at them or get in their face or anything to that nature, it's more of a "Are you serious right now?" kind of reaction. I don't feel that I need to defend myself line by line but the jist of it is none of this is true. I was on my knees in the middle of the floor shaking and stricken by what I just read. I read it over and over at least 5 times to really let the magnitude of what was happening sink in. We had just gotten back from an awesome family vacation with my step-son. He loved me so much. For Mother's Day he would make ME things, for school field trips, and classroom presentations he wanted ME there. Everyone in our town knew that, and so did everyone at his school. I didn't believe for one second he said those things. And for my MIL to say she moved in to help with the children was ridiculous! I asked her to move in! And not ONCE did she ever help us with the kids or offer to babysit or anything. All of these things start replaying in my mind as I am going over these documents. I suddenly realize she has been setting me up from the beginning. The night she came down and scolded me for yelling at the children all of sudden flashes through my mind. I remember thinking to myself, "This woman is nuts, what the heck is she talking about. She is constantly yelling at my girls!" I wondered if I spoke up then what would have happened. I wondered if I told my husband sooner of the things I suspected her of doing, if we would have been in this position right now. And for her to go as far as to say my husband was going to beat her up was just the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! And what struck me as odd is the police had just left saying she made a complaint stating he said he was going to "kill her", and in the court documents it said "beat her up". These two accusations are completely different and I feel that if you felt your life was threatened in such a way you would remember those words verbatim, no? The weeks to follow were an absolute living nightmare...

 If you like my blog and are following this story please vote for me for The Top Mommy Blog daily HERE.  

 

Simplify your life with Amazon Echo Today! //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=amotherofallt-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B00X4WHP5E&asins=B00X4WHP5E&linkId=ARGMJFQBMBD6GRUE&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true

   

Things have been so crazy for my husband and I lately. The way people are trying to hurt us is indescribable. But we have to believe that there is a special place in Hell for those people. And Karma will come for them. Stay positive, stay strong.

Love this kid

Check out @Momofalltrades5's Tweet: https://twitter.com/Momofalltrades5/status/721888175162007552?s=09

School is Now in Session

It's back to school for this mom, and boy am I stressed to the max. I've been gaining so much attention on my WordPress blog A Mother of All Trades, and now I am gaining access to affiliate companies to promote my site. As incredibly exciting as this venture is, it is near impossible to keep up with an ever demanding website, as well as my Lifespan Development psych class. Let's not forget I also have 5 children I have to take care of, plus everything else going on in our lives (you can read about that here The Devil Wore a Collar Saga). I am excited that I have so much going for me at the moment but I am so terrified I am going to drop the ball on something. My schooling means everything to me. I aspire to be a case worker for blended families, and families going through divorce and custody issues where young children are involved. I have about 11 months before I finish my Human Services degree. My passion is writing, my website on WordPress is such a liberating experience for me. 

I had to take a recent backseat on my website and allow for some guest posts for other authors and blog writers to gain more exposure. This is helping me focus on getting back into the swing of things in school. However, I can't get a moment of peace in this house with 4 girls running around like maniacs. How a 4 year old's voice resonates throughout the whole house is beyond me. I know I'll figure it all out, because I'm the mom and that's what we do. I just can't wait until school is a distant memory and I can look back on all that I have accomplished.

What are your dreams and goals? Are you pursing them? Write to me and I'll write back :)

How Does Your Husband Measure Up?

I needed some motivation today, and there isn't anyone who motivates me more than my husband.  What motivates you? This post contains sponsored links from affiliates.  The past few months as I scroll through my newsfeed on Facebook, I have been seeing so many posts about woman complaining about their husbands or significant others. Tons of posts about how their husbands are lazy around the house all the time, husbands that don't help with their children, husbands who just completely ignore them; and these woman are asking for advice on if this is normal and do other woman experience the same thing. I'm here to tell you right now, in this very moment that it is not normal, and should not be accepted. My husband works his ass off at a 40+ hour a week job, getting up every morning by 5:45am. He never once complains. He still gets up with the baby in the middle of the night if I'm tired, or sometimes just because he wants to. He understands that I'm home all day with 5 children on and off. He comes home from breaking his back at work all day, and will start dinner if I haven't, or finish up the laundry or anything else that he sees that needs to get done. He never asks, he just does it. We are in this together, we are a team. He never makes me feel bad if the house isn't spotless when he comes home from work. And we never dive into the craziness together without him giving me a kiss when he walks in the door. So ladies here are 10 simple rules, if your man doesn't follow at least 8 of these then you should find a new man.

  1.) He makes you fall more in love with him everyday.     By this I mean that he takes time out of his day to show you in some way that you are the most important woman in his life.

  2.) He sends you random texts during his day.    It can be once a day or it can be multiple times a day. My husband always shoots me a text just to let me know he's thinking of me, he loves me, or the fun things we have planned for when the kids go to sleep ;)

  3.) He includes you on any and all plans he makes for himself and the family. You are not a free babysitter. There should not be a problem with your man hanging out with his friends periodically, but he should have the courtesy to let you know at least 24 hours prior that he is going to be busy. Or if he is including the family in the plans so that you can get yourself and the kids prepared.

  4.) He makes time for you. This one boggles my mind that I even have to mention it, but if your husband isn't making time for you, then he doesn't want to be with you. No matter how busy he may be or how many things he has going on, a good man will always set aside time for the woman that he loves.

  5.) He helps out around the house. The household is both of your responsibility. Whether you are a stay at home mom or not, all the responsibility should not be left on your shoulders. We all know how hard it is to get anything done with little ones in the house. If your husband see's things that need to be picked up, or dinner hasn't been started yet he should have no problem helping you out. After all, you are raising his minions.

  6.) He never minds you hanging out with your friends. Don't abuse this one ladies. But if you want to hang out with your friends from time to time there should never be a question about it. First of all he should trust you enough because you have proven that you are trustworthy, and second of all he should have no issue watching the kids.

  7.) He gets up in the middle of the night with the baby. Girls, keep in mind he does have to get up early in the morning for work to provide financial stability, but that doesn't mean you aren't just as tired taking care of the kids all day. He will understand that if he is a good man, and won't wake you when he knows you've had a rough day.

  8.) He keeps your romantic life alive. Yes, it is your responsibility too. Your husband or partner should not be the only one trying to keep the flame burning. But at the same time he will still make you feel wanted, by coming up from behind you to hug you, or grab you on the sides suggestively, and periodically coming up with new moves for the bedroom, or any other room he decides to ravish you in.

  9.) He supports you and builds you up.  Your husband should  support you in your dreams, your desires, your crazy business ventures and anything else you want to do. While encouraging and supporting you, he will build you up, even if he knows the idea sounds silly he will recognize your need to set yourself apart from just being his wife and mother of his kids. And the last one is the most important...

  10.) He loves you unconditionally. This means that whether you are a raging bitch one week due to hormones and pms, or you're a frazzled lunatic because of an upcoming party; he accepts you, holds you a little tighter, and lets you know that you are going to get through it together. I am in no way a relationship expert, but I have had the really bad significant other and I now have an amazing husband who does all of these things and more. You must realize though ladies in order for your husband to treat you like a queen you must treat him like a king in return. It's all about give and take, and more give than it is take. This little piece of advice should just come naturally, it shouldn't have to be work or worked on, you should want to help each other, because after all you are  team and you want to succeed together. Never get too busy that you forget why you fell in love in the first place.
 So how does your husband measure up?

Mom Monday Motivation

I had the hardest time getting out of bed this morning. I sometimes feel discouraged for no reason at all. Things are going great there is no reason to feel this way. Maybe it's just the Monday blues. So here's some Mom Motivation for all you other Mom's feeling the blues today!

Go ahead and buy yourself something pretty today :) I give you permission. Here are some of my favorite things!

6 Things I Hope My Step-Kids Always Remember

  It is far from easy being a mother. I find it even harder to be a step-mother. You aren't just automatically loved by your step-children just because you married their father. That's a love you have to work for, it's a special kind of love. It's not one that comes easy, and that is what makes it so unique. You aren't bred to love each other. It's hard when you start out as a new step-mom, and even as an established one. What are your boundaries? What is allowed? What isn't? Am I trying too hard, am I not trying hard enough? You are always doubting yourself, and over analyzing every move you make. It's nerve wracking because you want these children to love you because you love their father and they are a part of your life now. But sometimes that love comes with a price, and without open communication that love may never come at all. These are some things I hope my step kids always know:

1. I was/am a step-kid too. I know it can be difficult to accept someone new into your life. I know it's different, and uncomfortable at times to see your dad with someone other than your mom. But talk to me, I will always know what that feels like. If you want time alone with your dad, just tell me. I'll take a ride. I want you always to be comfortable and I will never get in the way of your relationship with your father.
2. I will never talk bad about your mother (or at least not in front of you). Whether I like you mom, or she likes me has no bearing on the fact that she is YOUR mother. I will always respect her for that and I will never talk bad about her (in front of you). If at times your mom annoys you or you are upset with her, I will always be here for you to vent to but I will never join in your mom bashing. She will always be your mom and at one point you two will resolve the issue. 
3. I will never try and take your mother's place. Your mom is your mom, I am just a bonus mom. I love you just the same as if I carried you, however I did not. Her rules are her rules and we need to follow them, even if I don't always agree it is not my place. I will never make you call me mom, unless you want to, and I will never over step my boundary. 
4. I will love you like my own. Even though I am not your birth mom I will love you no different than I love my own children. I will care for you when you are ill, I will put a band aid on your scraped knee and give you a kiss, I will cuddle with you, read to you, sing to you, tuck you in at night, buy you treats, and more. I will never exclude you from something because you are not my birth child. I will never refer to you as "just my step-kid", you are still my kid even though I am not your mom I hope someday you understand what that means. 
5. Everyone will always be treated fairly.  I cannot make this any clearer to you. I will never take my daughter's side involving anything just because I gave birth to them. Right will always be right, and wrong will always be wrong no matter who committed the crime. I will never show my daughter's any more or less attention, affection, praise, or punishment than you two. All 5 of you will have as equal amounts of everything as humanly possible.
6. There may be times. There may be times you hear your mom or other people talking bad about me or your dad. If you don't understand or it confuses you please talk to me or your mom about it. There may be times I have upset you in some way and I didn't even realize, please talk to me about it. There may be times you want your dad to yourself without the other kids and me around, please talk to me about it. There may be times when you are angry at me and you don't even know why, please talk to me about it.

Kids, I will always be here for you. Sometimes you may love it and sometimes you may hate it. But as long as you talk about it, we will always be able to try and resolve it. Don't forget many of the ways you will feel, and are feeling I have already been through on your end. The bonus about me being your step-mom is that I am not your mom first, I am your friend first. Don't ever forget how much I love you, or doubt for one second that I wouldn't cross the Atlantic in paddle boat with one oar if that's what it took to make you happy. I love you kiddos. If you liked this blog please CLICK HERE to vote for me as a Top Mommy Blogger. Your daily votes count!
 Find a sponsor for your web site. Get paid for your great content. shareasale.com

Being A Woman

Honestly most of the time I love being a woman. I love everything that being a woman encompasses. I love feeling sexy, or cute, or pretty all depending on my mood and apparel choices. I love that I can change my look by a simple color and cut of my hair. I love my body. I love being a mother, and a wife. I really love it all! But then there's the other times. The times I loathe being a woman. I am aggravated that I am the mother and annoyed that I am the wife.





I almost always hate being a woman when I get in the shower. That shit sucks! A shower can never just be something that is done quickly for a woman. I have to wash and condition my hair; which is long and thick so it takes forever. I have to shave my legs, my arms, and everywhere else that hair can grow, because eww I hate hair. If I let that go for more than two days shaving my legs turns into mowing my legs. Gross! Then I have to wash my body, and scrub my face with a different wash. Then every other day I put a mask on in the shower to rejuvenate my face. It doesn't stop after the shower though. Then I have to apply the oil, serum, and face cream to my face to keep this beautiful young looking, supple skin. Then, oil and lotion the rest of my body. This process is absolutely dreadful. Yet I am a woman in her 30's that doesn't want to look dried up and old so I must keep up with this madness!



I get aggravated that I am a mother daily! What really gets me is that I have to repeat myself at the minimum of 10 times before the kids listen to me. And even then what I asked to have done isn't even done properly! What is that? I can't stand stepping on Shopkins, and Barbie shoes! I hate walking in a puddle of God knows what on the floor, like why didn't you tell me you spilled something? Or better yet, why didn't you clean it up? I hate listening to the kids bicker, I can't stand when they whine. I hate that every time I am doing something I get "Mommed" to death until I answer and then they don't even want anything but I just completely lost my mind, I mean train of thought! I hate that I can't get a moment of peace. I hate that even though Dad's on the couch watching television that I am the one they have to come to for the dumbest things, even though I am in the middle of writing a psych paper! What the Hell? And how many God damn times do I have to say "SHUT OFF THE LIGHT!"?



My husband is amazing. If you read my posts you know how unbelievable he is. I think because of that I get so annoyed with being the wife. I feel inadequate at times. Most days when he comes home dinner isn't made or ready, the house is a disaster, and the mountain of laundry hasn't even been tackled yet. He'll come home and just pick up where I left off and make it look so simple. And as much as I love that about him, I am so annoyed that I'm the wife. I'm the one who should be doing this stuff with no problems and no complaints, but instead he is working all day and picking up my slack at night. That's so unfair and I know it. But I can't stand putting the hundreds of articles of clothing away, and every time I clean there's just another mess right behind me. It's exasperating. I love being HIS wife, but the wifely duties that should accompany that are so obnoxious.



Don't get me wrong. I love being my children's mother, my husband's wife, and a woman. And in the same breath all three of those things are so tiring. But I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. My family is everything to me. And I am everything to them.

What do you hate about being a woman? I'd love to hear your thoughts!



Please click here to vote for me once a day if you liked this post! Every vote counts!

Tips For Mom Raising Daughters

 

 As a mom of 4 daughters  I can tell you I feel the struggle. It's not easy. I have three of them in very different stages. I have a tween, a kindergartner and preschooler, and I have a toddler. They all need different things from me, but at the same time, they all need very similar things from me as their mother. I often write about how trying they are, but they are also so wonderful in their own ways. As a mother they are looking to me to help them define who they are. Our roles as mothers are so critical to our daughters. I am going to share some tips I have in order to help you be the best role model for your daughter.

• Encourage Her. Encourage her everyday to try new things. To be herself. To work hard in school. To find something she loves to do and help her foster and grow that. Encourage her to dance, and sing, and laugh, and play, and get dirty.
• Teach Her. Teach her the importance of being healthy and safe. Teach her to love herself. Teach her to be kind. Teach her to use her mind. Teach her the importance of education. Teach her the importance of independence, and self satisfaction. Teach her to be secure. Teach her HOW to make the right decisions to her, and what that means. Teach her to be accepting of everyone. Teach her to be a problem solver. Teach her to be creative. Teach her to be heard, not just seen.
• Lead by Example. You have to be the best you that you can be, so she can learn to be the best her she can be. That does not mean turn your daughter into you, that means showing her the ability to be secure in who you are. That there is no right or wrong version of herself, but when she is secure in who she is, it will be right. Show her a woman she can be proud of. Show her how amazing it is to be a woman, by being amazing. Be a positive and good person and that is who she will want to be.
• Promote Her. This does not mean be the crazy dance mom you see on television, but this does mean to make her feel good about herself. Tell her how wonderful she is, inside and out. React to her positive decision making. Tell her she is beautiful. Tell her you love the way she thinks. Tell her you love her imagination. Tell her you love the way she draws and colors. Promote good self-esteem. Do not ever put her down.
• Be. Be patient. Be kind. Be understanding. Be open-minded. Be loving. Be caring. Be strong. Be bold. Be diverse. Be open to talk to. Be gentle but firm. Be decisive. Be creative. Be positive. Be healthy. Be silly. Be funny. Be serious. Be the best you, you can be.

There are many different ways that you can be a great mom to your daughter. Use these and elaborate on them if you will. Just remember how important it is to show your daughter that value in being a woman. It is something to be treasured and proud of. Not ever something to be ashamed of or put down for. Make sure she always knows how special she is, and that she does not need outside validation to know that. All that matters is that her and you know how truly amazing she is.

  Like this blog post? Vote for me here!

A Mother of All Trades at WordPress

Follow Me on WordPress

Mommy & Daddy Blog Link Up

An InLinkz Link-up